! That’s true, but the pain is yours and it serves its purpose in deepening and strengthening your resolve. If you are able to serve your partner, you are diving deep beneath the stormy seas of life in your submarine. Remember you are in a submarine not just a little dinghy to be thrown around. Dive deeper and experience the calm. The more awkward and difficult a relationship is, the deeper you must dive into the ocean of consciousness. When you are able to dive deep enough and bring that level of presence into your relationship, you are transmuting your partner for the better. It may take some time and some patience but it will happen eventually. As a Muslim, we believe getting married is completing half of your religion. This is not just the act of getting married, but rather fulfilling the rights and integrities of your partner due to them. Loving them selflessly and putting yourself and your ego to one side. Diving deep into this ocean of consciousness every time the storm of an argument arises and bringing the calm below the surface tension out. This is done through your loving attention. It takes nothing more than even looking at your partner with love and compassion. The “Attention Energy” is highly effective from this place of love. This place of love runs deep below this stormy ocean. Arguing with your partner is a waste of energy. It will deplete you both until you gather enough energy to fight with one another again. Your partner is never the problem, it is your ability to dig deep enough. I will say here that there are the very rare exceptions, but these are really extreme cases in which separating is the best solution however there are an extraordinarily small portion of the population who would fall into this category. Your partner is your practice! Your partner is a manifestation of what it is you see in the world. If your partner is a problem, they are merely reflecting what it is that you believe about yourself and the world. This is why this practice of loving and compassionate “Attention Energy” is so important in healing not only your partner, but yourself. Psychologists have long been aware that what their clients see in the people in their lives is a reflection of their internal world. Why not start loving yourself by loving those around you?
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